They are just bad days, and I am so excited for my future.

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I've developed this really great mindset lately with my depression. I've been surrounding myself with people who love me and growing closer to Jesus, and with each day I put in retrospect how great this life I've been given is going to be. I know that God will use these trials one day, and they make me a stronger individual. I know that I always have room for growth and that keeps me going. Sometimes you just need to flip on the switch of things will be okay, and with that being said I've been thinking about things I'm excited for in my future; I have these ideal images of how my life will be once I graduate and I can be myself. I am excited for road trips with good friends, and eating at diners with cute phrases on the mugs and good pancakes, and to explore Whidbey island. I want to dance silly with someone I love overlooking a beautiful scenery as the sun sets and I just realize how in love with them I am. I'm excited for someone to love every aspect of me. I'm thinking about how cool the stars look at night, and how its so marvelous that we exist. Thinking about how I cant wait to get bangs, dye my hair, get my nose pierced with a little ring and invest in more mom jeans. I'm excited to live my life to the fullest and fall in love with myself, this planet and someone else. I am excited to write more music and learn more instruments. I'm excited to grow as an individual and learn from my past and mistakes, to further better myself.I'm excited to love Jesus more; with that comes though this still battle in my heart of am I going to stop dating girls. and the easy answer would be yes, and that's something I will continue to need to think and pray through until I make my final decision. No one is forcing me to think this way either, I just feel closer to God when I don't date girls.  I'm excited to go on camping trips with my best friend, eat good food, dance more often and have deep conversations. I'm excited to teach music, and help shape kid's lives. I am also incredibly thankful for so much; I am thankful for those mentors in my life, who talk through situations and help me become better. I'm thankful for indie music, sunsets at the beach and the wind. I'm thankful for my friends who make me laugh during the hard times and feel valued and loved. These are just small things I'm excited & thankful for. And I know that I am so small in comparison to things on this planet.
I also know that each day wont always be as good, and life will continue to have ups and downs. But at the end of the day I know these things to be true;
God has so much in store for me. Coffee at 3 am will still be good. Parked car conversations will always make me happy, and I will over romanticize situations. The sunsets will always be gorgeous and capture my heart. I will always crave intellectual conversations, and be the cheesiest person I know. Music will always capture my heart, and my blog will always make me happy.
Today was good, I didn't feel too numb and I cherished the moments I had today. My heart breaks for those who feel alone, and I just want them to know you aren't alone. People will walk through life with you and genuinely love and care for you.
My blog may sound repetitive lately, but its helping me and in six months I'm excited to re evaluate these posts and see the change going on in my life. Much love, take care of yourselves.
Also, I'm very thankful for prayer, people sending me letters and telling me I am loved.

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