Posts

Consumed by Charisma.

-
friend of the day time lover of the night, I live each day with passion in my eyes. As I embark on my next journey these things they reside I will live my life to the fullest until the day I die. And when that time comes, when I'm old and gray I will be thankful for how I spent all of my days. For I loved the trees and how they blew with the wind, I stared with my breath taken away by the beauty I was taking in. I marveled at the sun and the way it shines and how the moon looks as I'm passing by. I learned to love the mountains and all they  held within and what it felt like to fall in love with your friends. I realized that she looked so stunning sitting there with the sun beaming down and glistening in her hair. I realized that his hands were rough when I held them then and this was going to be confusing once again. So I lay in bed thinking about the things that were said over and over again, I picked up my cup of coffee and my pen & I wrote about how you made me feel....
Post a Comment
Read more

They are just bad days, and I am so excited for my future.

-
I've developed this really great mindset lately with my depression. I've been surrounding myself with people who love me and growing closer to Jesus, and with each day I put in retrospect how great this life I've been given is going to be. I know that God will use these trials one day, and they make me a stronger individual. I know that I always have room for growth and that keeps me going. Sometimes you just need to flip on the switch of things will be okay, and with that being said I've been thinking about things I'm excited for in my future; I have these ideal images of how my life will be once I graduate and I can be myself. I am excited for road trips with good friends, and eating at diners with cute phrases on the mugs and good pancakes, and to explore Whidbey island. I want to dance silly with someone I love overlooking a beautiful scenery as the sun sets and I just realize how in love with them I am. I'm excited for someone to love every aspect of me. I...
Post a Comment
Read more

This week was hell.

-
This week was hell, this week was hell. Did I mention it was hell?! I literally have had no motivation to get dressed so I wore what I slept in everyday this week to school. I'm not sleeping too much either and I constantly have this migraine and foggy feeling. It's like not being there, but physically being present. My depression has always flared up a lot around fall and winter and it really sucks because they are my favorite seasons and I want to do so much, but I can't find the motivation. And I'm not saying "oh my gosh I'm depressed because I feel sad" nor am I being a dramatic teenager. I just feel numb and nothing at all, yet I feel everything at once. I'm starting to get so tired of people saying oh I'm sad so I must be depressed, that's not what depression is at all. For my sixteenth birthday we took a family vacation to Disney World and from what I remember it was fun. However I felt so incredibly numb emotionally and mentally that I...
Post a Comment
Read more

The epidemic that is, SENIORITIS.

-
Image
It has officially hit me, that its my senior year and that these moments count. I mean sure I've had senioritis since preschool, and the whole academic of school is kind of meh but still its crazy how fast this is all going by. I've reached this point where dressing up is no longer my main focus, I find myself using the term "eh, I'm a senior" way too often and its scary. Do you ever just procrastinate, literally? Because I do that with everything and anything lately. (Why am I like this?!) I am constantly feeling incredibly sleepy during class, and I catch myself saying oh I'll do my homework tonight. which never happens. You could say the case of senioritis has hit me really hard. And I'm wanting to graduate, drop out and make everything slow down all at once. Have you ever just stepped back from a situation and observed? I did this the other day during p.e while we were sitting in the commons because the gym was being used. Instead of goofing off with m...
Post a Comment
Read more

Who exactly is Karizma??

-
I've been asking myself this question for some time, who am I? and when I try to answer it I usually use a label such as oh I'm a musician, or I'm a dweeb. And I am these things however they don't define me, they more add to who Karizma is as a whole. Sometimes life gets messy, and you feel like you don't have your stuff together which can be the most frustrating feeling in the world. And on this stormy Monday evening, as the rain hits my window and I have Keaton Henson quietly playing in the background I'm pondering this question over and over again. Who am I?     Sometimes people can experience this weird feeling as you look in the mirror of woah this is me, this is my body and this is my life. And sure physically I'm a 5'3" 1/2, African American, Native American, white, 17 year old who has slight acne, shortish brown hair and eyes that look black sometimes. I have an average sized body, I have smallish hands. My cheeks are slightly chunky, a...
Post a Comment
Read more