Gender Norms & Social Standards.
From a young age we have these expectations & norms forced upon us; it begins when we first enter the world our nursery's are painted colors for certain genders. Pink for girls, everything frilly and barbies. Blue for boys, sports, "macho" toys like G.I Joe and action figures. We are placed in these little boxes and God forbid we be expressive, unique human beings. Let girls play with G.I Joe's. Let boys play dress up, let girls play football, let boys take ballet without calling them weird.
Phrases get thrown around all the time "Act like a lady" for women and "Toughen up" for men. What exactly does it mean to act like a lady? Lady's are expected to; be polite, timid, obedient & submissive to the men, know's how to cook. She should be fragile, lovely, graceful, classy, vulnerable, emotional (kind, motherly, empathetic). She shouldn't be revealing but be a tease at the same time. She is supposed to remain pure and innocent basically a virgin, but know what to do and how to please men. She is supposed to have a tiny waist, big butt and big boobs. She can't stick up for herself, isn't straight forward and can't cuss. She should cross her legs when she sits, she can't be masculine. These are double standards and it's so difficult to please everyone. Boy's are expected to; like sport's, have a great job, know everything about sex. He is supposed to be dominant, have a great vocabulary and know how to get girls. He isn't supposed to cry, he shouldn't tell his friends "I love you" and if he does its usually followed by "No homo". Why is it that with girl's we share everything with our friends who are girls. we sleep in the same bed at sleepovers, say I love you, We hold hands, cuddle, kiss on the cheek, we compliment them on a daily basis and not once do we use the term "No homo".
Why are derogatory name's thrown around like baseballs. If girl's don't meet these standards they get called things like; whore, bitch, dyke, cunt, slut, crazy, disrespectful, feminazi, high maintenance, spoiled brat. If we wear certain clothes and get cat called, we're asking for it. Girl's put down other girls, using phrases like "stay in your lane" "she can't keep a man", etc. Boys get called things like; faggot, gay, metro sexual, pussy, bitch, mommy's boy, fuckboy. They are told things like " stop acting like a girl" "you are being a little bitch" "toughen up". These all affect everyone differently, people end their lives everyday because they feel too different and alone. People think something is wrong with them if they don't fit in the "social standards".
Why is it such a big deal if girls masturbate, have sex or watch porn. Why can't girls express themselves sexually without being called easy, or a slut. But if a boy does the same things he gets applauded by his friends. Exploring one's sexuality is normal and healthy.
Gender Norms. Aka here's this little box. Why do we think its absurd if girl's want to pay for date's, or ask boy's out? We kinda put these expectations for what roles girls and boy's take on when it comes to relationships. As being a girl who wants to pay for half of the dates, my kinda sorta boyfriend didn't/doesn't mind that i want to pay for dates and stuff sometimes. When we first started dating I thought he would be like uhm no boys are supposed to pay for date's, but instead his actual reaction was like " oh I think that's super cool, and I don't mind us alternating on who pays". Which was a really cool feeling to have boy's understand that girl's can be straight forward too. I also think it's important for girls to know its totally acceptable if you want to ask a boy out, or a girl. I actually asked H.W out on our first date. I texted him and was like "Yo, do you wanna go get coffee sometime" strangely though I didn't pay for that date. Along with gender norms would be the idea that boys can't have emotions, or they can't really show them. I know that with my little brother's Syris and Giovanni my parent's have kinda always been like "Quit crying" "Suck it up buttercup". But I think it is so, so, SO important that boy's know they have the freedom of expression as much as girl's do. I think its super rad when a male show's emotion and is vulnerable, because no one wants to be in a relationship with a robot. Crying is incredibly healthy, I know that when I am upset it feels good to just cry and process life.
We need to stop limiting people, and start celebrating people for being true to themselves.
But what do I know, because I'm just a 17 year old girl or atleast that's what adults tell me. I think these are important conversations that should take place more often.
- Just an awkward, Outspoken Writer.
Phrases get thrown around all the time "Act like a lady" for women and "Toughen up" for men. What exactly does it mean to act like a lady? Lady's are expected to; be polite, timid, obedient & submissive to the men, know's how to cook. She should be fragile, lovely, graceful, classy, vulnerable, emotional (kind, motherly, empathetic). She shouldn't be revealing but be a tease at the same time. She is supposed to remain pure and innocent basically a virgin, but know what to do and how to please men. She is supposed to have a tiny waist, big butt and big boobs. She can't stick up for herself, isn't straight forward and can't cuss. She should cross her legs when she sits, she can't be masculine. These are double standards and it's so difficult to please everyone. Boy's are expected to; like sport's, have a great job, know everything about sex. He is supposed to be dominant, have a great vocabulary and know how to get girls. He isn't supposed to cry, he shouldn't tell his friends "I love you" and if he does its usually followed by "No homo". Why is it that with girl's we share everything with our friends who are girls. we sleep in the same bed at sleepovers, say I love you, We hold hands, cuddle, kiss on the cheek, we compliment them on a daily basis and not once do we use the term "No homo".
Why are derogatory name's thrown around like baseballs. If girl's don't meet these standards they get called things like; whore, bitch, dyke, cunt, slut, crazy, disrespectful, feminazi, high maintenance, spoiled brat. If we wear certain clothes and get cat called, we're asking for it. Girl's put down other girls, using phrases like "stay in your lane" "she can't keep a man", etc. Boys get called things like; faggot, gay, metro sexual, pussy, bitch, mommy's boy, fuckboy. They are told things like " stop acting like a girl" "you are being a little bitch" "toughen up". These all affect everyone differently, people end their lives everyday because they feel too different and alone. People think something is wrong with them if they don't fit in the "social standards".
Why is it such a big deal if girls masturbate, have sex or watch porn. Why can't girls express themselves sexually without being called easy, or a slut. But if a boy does the same things he gets applauded by his friends. Exploring one's sexuality is normal and healthy.
Gender Norms. Aka here's this little box. Why do we think its absurd if girl's want to pay for date's, or ask boy's out? We kinda put these expectations for what roles girls and boy's take on when it comes to relationships. As being a girl who wants to pay for half of the dates, my kinda sorta boyfriend didn't/doesn't mind that i want to pay for dates and stuff sometimes. When we first started dating I thought he would be like uhm no boys are supposed to pay for date's, but instead his actual reaction was like " oh I think that's super cool, and I don't mind us alternating on who pays". Which was a really cool feeling to have boy's understand that girl's can be straight forward too. I also think it's important for girls to know its totally acceptable if you want to ask a boy out, or a girl. I actually asked H.W out on our first date. I texted him and was like "Yo, do you wanna go get coffee sometime" strangely though I didn't pay for that date. Along with gender norms would be the idea that boys can't have emotions, or they can't really show them. I know that with my little brother's Syris and Giovanni my parent's have kinda always been like "Quit crying" "Suck it up buttercup". But I think it is so, so, SO important that boy's know they have the freedom of expression as much as girl's do. I think its super rad when a male show's emotion and is vulnerable, because no one wants to be in a relationship with a robot. Crying is incredibly healthy, I know that when I am upset it feels good to just cry and process life.
We need to stop limiting people, and start celebrating people for being true to themselves.
But what do I know, because I'm just a 17 year old girl or atleast that's what adults tell me. I think these are important conversations that should take place more often.
- Just an awkward, Outspoken Writer.
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