"You strike me as a woman whos never satisfied"
Does anyone else fear missing out on something great, so you roadblock yourself? Because boy is that me. I'm literally one of the most indecisive people you will ever meet and it's for the pure sake of I feel if I settle down for something that I will miss something amazing. I'm constantly debating between several choices whether it comes to what I wear, what song I pick to listen to in the car, what food I eat and so much more. I can not listen to a full song because I get this feeling of okay change it before you miss a call song, in my stomach and it's the worst. I literally stood in a ice cream shop in Hawaii for thirty minutes debating between pineapple and mango flavored sorbet. Some may ask, karizma WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. to which I would respond I DON'T KNOW AND IM SORRY.
I never know what I want. Ever. And it's something I hate and love about myself. I love everything and everyone yet I don't at the same time. I love and hate fall, and winter. I want to attend WWU, but I also want to attend CWU and I know I probably couldn't pick one if I get accepted into both.
I want to be popular and have no one know me at the same time, and I feel like both have pros and cons but to pick just one would make me sad. I'm going to constantly feel trapped in every decision I make and I hate it. I want to live an extraordinary life, and I don't mean it in the cliche oh I want to change the world because I know I don't have that power on my own. And that I only posses certain qualities within me that could ever possibly change the world, but I want to only change my world and those close to me and I'm perfectly content with that. But I mean that in a, I want to experience other cultures, and to learn more about everything. I want to create something amazing for myself, to get married, be a mom and a choral director. I want to compose music with Erik Esvenalds but I also just want to arrange versions of uptown girl. I'm debating between the airforce and going straight into college and I have no clue what I will pick. See I over think every hypothetical situation that could happen and it's frustrating.
My dad and I have been discussing some things and I've always jokingly said ugh I'm having a midlife crisis at 17 and it's not even the middle of my life. To which my dad responds that no one knows which point is the middle because we could die tomorrow or live forty-sixty more years. Either way you can't control everything and it's normal to stress out over things. And I know there will be certain things I will never be able to achieve, but I will never let it stop me.
Life is too short to regret anything, so push down walls and leave your comfort zone. If you don't you could miss incredible things life has to offer. Take risks, if you love someone tell them. If you want to cut your hair and change your style do it. Live life to its fullest capability. I don't want to regret the chances I didn't take. And I know my interests and desires will change as I continue to grow as an individual, and maybe Alexander Hamilton is right. Maybe I'll never be satisfied. In the meantime I'll continue adventuring, exploring, making memories and eating pancakes at 1 am.
- just an awkward, outspoken writer.
I never know what I want. Ever. And it's something I hate and love about myself. I love everything and everyone yet I don't at the same time. I love and hate fall, and winter. I want to attend WWU, but I also want to attend CWU and I know I probably couldn't pick one if I get accepted into both.
I want to be popular and have no one know me at the same time, and I feel like both have pros and cons but to pick just one would make me sad. I'm going to constantly feel trapped in every decision I make and I hate it. I want to live an extraordinary life, and I don't mean it in the cliche oh I want to change the world because I know I don't have that power on my own. And that I only posses certain qualities within me that could ever possibly change the world, but I want to only change my world and those close to me and I'm perfectly content with that. But I mean that in a, I want to experience other cultures, and to learn more about everything. I want to create something amazing for myself, to get married, be a mom and a choral director. I want to compose music with Erik Esvenalds but I also just want to arrange versions of uptown girl. I'm debating between the airforce and going straight into college and I have no clue what I will pick. See I over think every hypothetical situation that could happen and it's frustrating.
My dad and I have been discussing some things and I've always jokingly said ugh I'm having a midlife crisis at 17 and it's not even the middle of my life. To which my dad responds that no one knows which point is the middle because we could die tomorrow or live forty-sixty more years. Either way you can't control everything and it's normal to stress out over things. And I know there will be certain things I will never be able to achieve, but I will never let it stop me.
Life is too short to regret anything, so push down walls and leave your comfort zone. If you don't you could miss incredible things life has to offer. Take risks, if you love someone tell them. If you want to cut your hair and change your style do it. Live life to its fullest capability. I don't want to regret the chances I didn't take. And I know my interests and desires will change as I continue to grow as an individual, and maybe Alexander Hamilton is right. Maybe I'll never be satisfied. In the meantime I'll continue adventuring, exploring, making memories and eating pancakes at 1 am.
- just an awkward, outspoken writer.
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